In organized religion you are placed in an environment that teaches a certain "image". People in leadership and authority roles want so badly to create a "perfect picture" in the eyes of others for their church and especially their family. This causes life to revolve more around the outside rather than the inside. Those words in them self are damaging to a child who has been sexually abused. You see in most cases there is nothing on the outside that indicates sexual abuse, it is purely emotions that become effected. Self-worth is damaged and boundaries are broken. Putting a child in the position of feeling like it is all about their "image" causes them to feel they can’t speak out about their abuse and takes away their voice. Reality is a church should be a safe place where they can speak freely and be who they need to be.
The other tragic thing that organized religion has caused is for people to feel like they need to push it under the rug to protect the "image". Words cannot express how much harm this does. Not only are you teaching them that pushing it away will solve their pain, but you are also teaching them that they are not worth standing up for. The most horrific thing is while causing all of that harm you are also protecting the abuser! I have heard so many stories of leadership giving the abuser a "slap on the wrist" and saying "Don't do that again". Uhm.. HELLO these are not three year olds touching a stove! These are grown adults choosing to sexually touch a child! God is supposed to be about standing against sin, and protecting our children!
" But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and [that] he were drowned in the depth of the sea " -Mathew 8:6
I myself was raised in organized religion. My dad(Abuser) was a drummer on the platform, and my second abuser was a youth leader. When I came out about my abuse I came out to not only family but the leadership because it was my family's church.
Before I go on, I do want to say I have wholeheartedly forgiven my family for the mistakes they made that day. I know they would do differently if they had the chance and believe others should do differently as well.
When I told it was like walking into hell. There was yelling, my abuser(My dad) was sitting right in front of me and they did not believe me at all. Of course this was a special circumstance because it was my family as well, but I do believe leadership needs to be taught the right way to handle that situation. Religions and churches need to create a sense of safety and give their children a voice. God talks about children being gifts, we need to protect the gifts God has given us. Our "image" should never be more important than protecting a child!